On September 23, 2017 Microsoft spokesperson, Michael Rotch, announced that the next Xbox would be the best console the world has ever seen. The secret, Rotch said, is that it will be a PC. Rotch went on to say technobabble bullshit.
Local Xbox fanboy Tyler E reacted by saying, “Yeah. It makes perfect sense. I’d follow Xbox anywhere and if they wanna make this next leap I’m with them. Hey. I pray to Major Nelson every night, buddy.”
The news has some game enthusiasts baffled. Local nerd Jeff H stated, “isn’t that what Microsoft already does? Don’t they already make PC’s?”
Noice interviewed Rotch. The spokesperson stated, “The irony? What do you mean?”
The XboXXX will allow gamers to mod games, use Xbox One certified controllers, and even access Facebook. Console exclusive include Spider Solitaire, Freecell, Minesweeper and built in digital audio workstation Super Duper Music Looper. Hackers beware; Microsoft has included with price of purchase a 30-day free trial of McAfee.
Microsoft founder, Bill Gates, weighed in on the subject by saying, “What the fuck?”